Godliness and Physical Attraction

by | Nov 19, 2019 | Couples/Marriage, Dating, Relationships | 0 comments

Here’s a question you might not think would apply to you if you’re a current member of the Young Adults group: “How Do I Stay Attracted to My Aging Spouse?”

But if you plan on getting married, it’s a great question to pre-think, for several reasons. First, you absolutely can not make your choice of a spouse or your commitment to marriage based on the distortions of physical attractiveness displayed by our culture through media. It’s a lie. It is a lie specifically directed to attack marriage, and it is incredibly deceptive. And that applies to all seasons of life and marriage–not just to when you’re old. For instance, here’s a quote from the article that gave an answer to that question:

If women are to prioritize inner beauty over outer beauty, then we men, we husbands, should grow in our capacities to see and cherish and be moved by — deeply moved by, physically moved by — that inner beauty.

Think about how profound that isgrowing in the capacity to see and cherish and be moved by something other than physical beauty. It most certainly applies to you if you’re looking, dating, engaged, or newly married, as much as it does to those who’ve been married for 50 years. In fact, here’s the whole section, in context:

1 Peter 3:3–4, which addresses wives, but has huge implications for husbands. “Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” There is external beauty that is perishable. There is internal beauty that is imperishable.

The world gets Peter’s emphasis exactly backward. And we get sucked into it as we watch and watch and watch. But my point is: if women are to prioritize inner beauty over outer beauty, then we men, we husbands, should grow in our capacities to see and cherish and be moved by — deeply moved by, physically moved by — that inner beauty.

So, young men (and women), when you’re first thinking about who to date, may I suggest that you should be deep in to this kind of praying and thinkingasking God to help you see things this way? This may shape the kind of people you pursue, and the kind of people you give the time of day to.

And as you’re in the middle of a relationship, may I suggest that you keep asking God to help you see things this way? It may keep you from making bad decisions that will impact the rest of your life.

And as you’re beginning your marriage, and moving on into mature marriage, may I suggest that you make this a priority? It will most definitely keep your marriage in a place of god-honoring fruitfulness and happiness.

One more quote:

As our bodies move from the passing splendor of youth to the different splendor of age, we should become better at what we should have been good at all along. Namely, instead of outer appearances dominating the awakening of our affections, inner realities should more and more dominate the awakening of our affections. And I would put no limits on what those affections or desires might be.

This is wise counsel. I suggest reading the entire article